Who I Am
by Kamiee4
Summary: Susan has jumped off the cliffs as a suicide attempt. To her disbelief, she is rescued by Dr.Carlisle Cullen who turns her into a vampire. By doing this, she is now member of the Cullen family. But how will she cope in this new life, with new family?
1. Prologue

'Suzi, NO!' I've heard him scream. I smiled slightly. This was it. My last minute on Earth. I took deep breath. I closed my eyes. I jumped. The air on my face felt surprisingly nice. I could smell the salty water which was about 20 ft below me. The distance from water was getting smaller and smaller every second. With every second, I was closer to death. And I looked forward to it. Then it hit me. Water was freezing cold. I didn't swim. I even didn't try to fight the current. Slowly, I was sinking into the salty sea water. Before loosing conscious, I felt cold strong hands gripping onto my waist and pulling me up to the surface.

**_So there we are! A prologue to this story. Drowning girl, with strong hands pulling her to the top. Oh dear..._**

**_Reviews, s'il vous plait/bitte/please/prosze ;)_**


	2. Welcome to the family

**One more thing that I forgot about ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own most of these characters. They belong Stephenie Meyer. I only own for now Susan. xD**

I was half-conscious and I thought I was dreaming. I didn't open my eyes – I was too weak to do so. I was warm. If that's how you feel after you die, I liked it a lot. I was lying down on something that felt like a bed. Maybe I was at home lying down on my bed before school? It could have been. I felt a shadow being cast on my body. How did mum get here? How come, I didn't hear her coming in? My doors are usually really squeaky when opened. This was strange. Suddenly, I felt cold hands grabbing my wrists and pulling them up. I felt cold lips pressing down on them and teeth sinking into my veins. I screamed. It was really painful. The same thing happened to my second wrist. I screamed louder. It felt like my body is burning. I felt fire on most of my body. Why was that person doing this to me?

'I really hope you will survive this,' somebody whispered.

* * *

Pain. That's all I felt then. I kept screaming for help, for water. My heart was beating very fast; faster than before. And louder. I could hear it even if there was a heavy-metal concert going on now in this room. Was my heart struggling to survive?

* * *

I'd seem to be in pain forever. I couldn't remember an hour without fire burning my veins. Until now. It just seemed to disappear. Second thing I realised when the fire was gone, that I couldn't hear my heart beating. Or feel it. Am I dead? If I am, shouldn't I be like… in heaven or hell?, I thought. I was confused. I opened my eyes. The place didn't look like heaven. Or hell. It just seemed to be a... a room. The room was white. Everything was white. I sat up and looked around. I was definitely sitting on a bed in a white room. To the right of the bed, there was a sink and a mirror above it. I turned my head around to the left where there were doors. White doors. Damn. A hospital!? Why am I in hospital? How did I get there? I lied down on the bed again and closed my eyes.

'Ah, Susan, so you survived,' I heard a voice. I quickly got up with fear and looked towards the doors. There was a handsome doctor standing in the door way. He had blond hair and strangely honey – like eye colour. He looked as if he was in his late twenties, early thirties. He was beautiful, I have to say. His pale, porcelain-like skin made him look more like a model than a doctor.

'Who… who are you?' I asked partially curious, partially scared. His beauty overwhelmed me.

'Oh, I'm sorry Susan. I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen. But you may call me Carlisle. I've rescued you from death in the sea. It's me that turned you into vampire,' he explained softly. He rescued me? Turned me into a vampire!? Where am I? Dr. Cullen seemed to notice my shock and confusion on my face because he came around and sat on the bed.

'Susan. You're in my private office. In a private room actually. In my house. I turned you into vampire because I thought it was such a waste for you to end your life. I gave second chance in life. You are a part of the coven now. A family really. You can leave, if you feel like you don't belong here, but it will be better if you stayed with us,' Dr. Cullen whispered but I heard it very clearly. Part of family? Vampire? Gosh, this world IS going crazy. But if I am really a vampire… don't vampires sleep in coffins during the day and come out only during the night because sun hurts them? I never really thought vampires exist. I pointed those things out to Carlisle and to my surprise, he laughed.

'No, that is not true. That's what Hollywood thinks. They are quite far from the truth,' he chuckled slightly. 'The truth is that we can't sleep. We don't need sleep. Although, sometimes, I could've been quite useful,' he chuckled again, as if he thought of it a bit funny. I was disappointed that I won't be able to sleep – I loved sleeping. 'The sun doesn't really hurt us; we just glitter in it, which makes us unable to live in sunny places. We are mostly very fast and strong. Some vampires have special abilities. Those can be pretty useful in big families, like this one. My family drink only animal blood, as we want to be good. However, there are vampires that drink human blood,' he explained in a serious tone. Wow. I never thought about animal-blood-sucking vampires. Quite… shocking. Almost like vegetarian. Personally, I would rather drink animal blood. Drinking human blood seemed to be wrong to me.

'You have changed much during the change. If you don't believe me, just look into the mirror.' Carlisle said simply. For a moment, I sat on the bed unable to move. But somehow, I got enough power to get up. It felt like I was walking in the air. Within seconds, I found my self in front of the mirror. I slowly looked up, and soon, my lips formed a small 'O'.

The girl in the mirror had shoulder-length, black hair. Her eyes were so red that they looked more scarlet. They shone with fear. She was unbelievably pale. I couldn't look at her, she was way too beautiful. I felt really small. I looked down, staring at my own hands. They were pale. As pale as the girls face. Was that girl in the mirror really me? I was shocked. It was definitely something new. Something unexpected. Slowly however, I started to believe. To realise the truth. I was given life again. But I didn't want life. I wanted death. I wanted to die. That's why I jumped off the cliff. Didn't I? I thought so. But as I stood there, I felt electricity waves coming down my body. I felt happy. Happy that I lived. That now, I got my second chance. In a different life.

'Carlisle, I believe you.' I whispered. A shock stroke through me as I heard my voice. It was nothing like before. It was more louder, yet more softer. Another change from my human life.

'Great. Now, I would like you to meet the rest of your new family,' blonde vampire said softly. 'But before, please change into this.' He added and left some clothes on the end of the bed. He fled from the room.

I was left for myself and myself only. I sat on bed, just to gather my thoughts together. I was amazed by the turn in the events. However, as I looked back to my human life, something has struck me.

_I was in Devon, on the beach. I noticed a couple walking, holding hands. The girl was bleach blonde with red highlight here and there. She had slim body, however, curved where needed. She was wearing a blue bikini. The guy beside her had short, brown hair. His fringe was set to the left. His flower-patterned swimming boxers hung low on his hips. He laughed and kissed passionately the girl. I stared at them in horror. I ran. _

I opened my eyes violently and let out a gasp. No, no, no, no, no! Not again. I didn't want to go through that again. I stopped breathing. I knew the guy. It was my reason to commit suicide. I jumped because I saw my FIANCÉ cheating. With that girl. I knew it was a pathetic reason to kill yourself, but the shock, anger and sadness were just to big when combined. I didn't think it through.

I took the clothes and put them on. Nearly-black skinny jeans fitted perfectly. The vest top was white, nearly translucent. I only liked the jeans. The vest was too slutty. I hoped I would be able to go shopping for something new. Not like I cared about clothes, but I definitely didn't want to look like a slut. I took a deep breath, although I didn't need to breathe, and left the room.

I found myself on a corridor. A corridor that had marble floors. Creamy walls. I walked on and on until I reached the stairs and descended down them. I came down into a large living area connected with the dining room and the kitchen. I just glanced around the living area spotting, couple sofas and a large plasma TV on the wall. My eyes quickly set to the kitchen and dining room. In the middle, there was a table, by which sat eight people. Eight vampires in fact. They looked at me with curiosity. I ducked my head down. I felt embarrassed by having so many vampires staring at me.

'Susan,' I've heard and lifted my head up. It was Carlisle who spoke. I looked around at everyone. Carlisle was sitting closest with a woman sitting next to him. Her face was heart-shaped. Small and slender, but still round. Her golden eyes were full of love to every living thing. Somehow, I felt that already, she loved me as everyone in the family. Her caramel coloured hair came down in slight waves. She was as beautiful as Carlisle.

My eyes quickly moved on to the boy next to her. He was tall with honey-blond hair. His gold eyes looked at me with curiosity, like everyone else. I had a feeling that he knew what I felt and could control my feelings. I felt cold shiver travel down my spine on that thought. I noticed that he was quite muscular but still lean. His partner, the girl sat next to him. She had short black hair. They were put on gel so they were sticking out in every possible direction. I estimated that she had to be quite short, below 5 ft. Her features were very tiny and pixie-like, which gave me impression that she was a very lively person. Even if she was one, she definitely wasn't so lively at that moment.

My eyes shifted to another couple. I noticed the girl with golden blonde hair. I have to say, she was beautiful! Her hair was falling down in gentle waves to the middle of her back. Her gold eyes looked at me coldly. She was statuesque and looked like a top model. Something unbelievable. The guy next to her… WOW! He shocked me a lot. He was definitely the tallest out of the family. He had dark curly hair. His face looked nice, as if he was fun person to be around. He had a big muscular body, just like weight lifters have. He did look a bit scary and unusual but I had a feeling that he was a bit childish and just like a big brother to you.

My eyes moved to the last couple. The guy had messy, reddish bronze hair. He looked gorgeous. Although he was a bit boyish looking, he was lanky, not bulky. I saw the outline of his muscles under his tight white T-Shirt. The girl next to him had unbelievably dark, chocolate hair. Her face was heart-shaped, with wide forehead and widow's peak. Her eyes were big, widely spaced and the iris looked more topaz-like than gold. She was slender, although not muscular.

As I was standing there, I felt that their eyes were set up on me. I looked down, quite embarrassed. If I could, I would've blushed really badly.

'Susan, this is my family. Your family,' I heard Carlisle talk and I looked up. Everyone was still staring at me, which I didn't find really comfortable. As I looked at all of them, I released that they were all different, but still the same. They had different looks, features, hair colour, etc. But still, their pale skin was the same, as well as gold eyes and dark circles under their eyes. Those were the same. It gave me an impression of family. The family that I was about to join.

'Let me introduce you. This is Esme,' Carlisle as usual was formal but still friendly. He pointed at the woman next to him. 'Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward and Bella.' He pointed at them as they sat.

'Hey,' I said shyly, too embarrassed to say something else. I saw the pixie-like girl, Alice, get up and walk toward me.

'Hi Susan!' she said enthusiastically. Wow, her mood has changed so much in seconds! She kissed my cheek and led me to the empty space next to erm… Bella. I sat, still shocked about Alice's move.

'So Susan, tell us something about yourself,' I heard Alice's voice and nearly shook my head.

'I prefer Suzi when it comes to family and friends,' I spoke quietly as I thought that I couldn't speak any louder. 'I come from an English family. I used to live in Devon. I am 17 actually. My birthday is on 3rd February.

'Oh, an Aquarius! That's sick!' I've heard that big guy talk. I think his name was Emmett. What a strange name for such a muscular guy.

'Hey Emmett. That's right? No offence, but your name doesn't really suit you that much,' I said. I just had to say it.

'Thanks Suzi!' he grinned. 'I was actually meant to be called Larry, you know. But my mum thought that it was too gay.' He added. I burst out laughing.

'Emmett, I actually agree with her. But Larry would be much better. Suits your body. I just don't see how your mum thought it was gay. It's perfect for YOU,' I heard a velvet voice speaking and laughing. It was Edward, I think. Everyone at the table started giggling, while Emmett was still grinning and sticking his tongue out at Edward.

Welcome to the family.

**I'm sorry for such a late update! It took ages to write the chapter and then type it up as I have curfew on computer, and limited amount of time after school. I really hope you will like this chapter - as I said, I spent ages on it. If any questions, write in a review or email me ;)**

**Please review, newborn Susan wouldn't like it, if you didn't comment on this part of her life. She would get Alice to torture you. Somehow ;)**

**Kamiee.**

**P.S. When I'm gonna get atleast 10 reviews for this chapter, I'll try to update. Writing is in progress.**


	3. Sorry

So yeah. I screwed up with this story. It is not, what I planned to do. I started writing Chapter 2, but got totally lost with school work, that I haven't returned to continuing with the story. I'm sorry. I think now, if I continue to write this story, it's going to fail even more. That's why I'm quitting writing and publishing stories for the time being. I'm retiring. For now. I am however, working on my other story, not to do with Twilight. It's because it's my old, half finished stories based on Harry Potter and Tokio Hotel awesome German band . I am currently translating it from Polish to English yes, I can speak Polish, cause I am Polish xDD . I am planning to update it here, on . When I get it finished and edited. Then I'll think about trying Twilight fan fiction again.

Again, I want to apologize to the readers of my fan fiction that failed. I know I disappointed you lot. I hope you will forgive me one day, and decide to read the upcoming stories as well.

Love you all really.

P.S. Just because I'm retiring, it doesn't mean I won't be popping into . I still will be online, from time to time, reading and reviewing xDD

P.S.S. My awesome friend pixistix is writing an awesome story for Twilight. It's All Human, with Bella as a surfer, living in Hawaii with Charlie, but gets sent to Renee to Phoenix. It is totally awesome I know, I'm repeating it lol and you just have to read it. GO DO IT NOW! Please cheeky smile


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